There are three facts about Jesus that scholars and historians accept. One, he was indeed an historical figure. Two, he was, in fact, crucified for being a political threat. And three, he hated divorce. Hated it. I’m not a biblical scholar, but my understanding is that he hated divorce so much that when challenged by the pharisees regarding his position on it, he picked a Hebrew scripture that had nothing to do with divorce to justify his view. I find this very interesting. Particularly because in several instances in the bible everyone is amazed by his knowledge of scripture and people call him Rabbi. So there’s no reason to believe he didn’t know the right answer. In fact, he gave the right answer before saying he just disagrees with it regardless.
Historically, even though Judaism, from which Christianity proceeds, allows divorce, the Catholic church really jumped on this point. And it’s marvelous if you have one lifelong love affair that supports and sustains you in achieving your full destiny. I’m not advocating divorce. But I’ve never believed Jesus could have meant for countless people to be trapped in miserable relationships. He said He came that we might “have life and have it to the full.” How could he have meant to encourage a lifeless, loveless existence, sometimes even fraught with violence and abuse, for so many who have faithfully endured it over the centuries?
While I can’t definitively say I have the answer, I think I have a pretty solid guess. When Jesus answered that question, he pointed out that the custom among Jews at that time (a result of the law given by Moses) was that a man may give his wife a certificate of divorce, freeing her to find someone else who wants to marry her. Note that the custom was not that the woman can take half of what the couple accumulated and give her husband a certificate of divorce. It’s worth wondering if Jesus was speaking as the consummate egalitarian that he was.
Jesus had female disciples, even if they’re not granted the same level of importance in the historical development of the church as his male disciples. He offered the same compassion for gentiles as Jews, and demonstrated outrage over the rich taking advantage of the poor. It’s worth wondering if maybe He just viewed Jewish divorce policy as unfair, oppressive and harmful to women and children. Because indeed it was.
The Catholic church, in particular, is often criticized for being so inflexible on this point, and rightly so. Nobody who is happy puts themselves through a divorce just for fun. Many have given up on Catholicism, lived in guilt or spent most of their lives alone, based on the church’s position that divorced people may not remarry. Not for fun, but because they just weren’t willing to stay in a marriage that no longer served them.
In their honor I would like to remember the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. She asked Jesus to give her the “living water” that He claimed upon drinking, would become a spring of eternal life. And He told her to go get her husband. When she said she had no husband, Jesus told her he already knew that she’d had five husbands. And judging by the tone of the narrative, he was clearly not impressed by this fact. But there is something profound and significant about that story that I’ve never heard anyone point out. It is that Jesus offered her eternal life nonetheless. We can always begin again right where we are – nothing in our past is a barrier to this gift.
This is true at the fundamental basis and heart of all mystic spirituality and religious traditions. Now the intent of this blog and memoir is not to criticize any religion or even to analyze any of them. I’m just differentiating between the spiritual truths that Jesus, the Rishis, Moses, the Buddha, Mohammed, et al came to teach and the rules and regulations of the institutions that purport to be based upon those truths. Believing we have to wait for God’s love and mercy until we’re perfect, puts the cart before the horse. One of Yogananda’s disciples recounts (paraphrasing here from memory) that he’d told his guru, “I won’t give up meat or sex or cigarettes” to practice Kriya Yoga with you.
Yogananda replied, “Don’t give them up, but I can’t guarantee that after practicing a while, you’ll still want those things.”
This is the proper order of things – seek first God and the problems of this world will resolve in due time.
If you love Jesus, a different spiritual teacher or just God with no physical attributes, He/She/They/It/They are with you. Here with you on this journey, offering you eternal life in every moment. All you have to do is stop counting your husbands – or any other “mistakes.” Just stop focusing on how you don’t measure up to your spiritual teacher’s perfect example. Just as importantly, stop focusing on how others don’t measure up. Focus on the eternal life-giving love that is all around you and within you. And be open to receiving eternal life by the realization that it’s already your’s. All there is to do, is recognize it, accept it and live in that joyful knowing that all is well.
Do you continue to beat yourself up for things you’ve done that are long past? On the journey of spiritual awakening, I discovered the importance of forgiveness to a peaceful and happy life. But I quickly learned that I, my self, was the hardest person to forgive. Please share in the comments your experiences practicing the miraculous spiritual virtue of self-forgiveness. You can also connect with me privately here.
Looking for tips on beginning a spiritual journey or developing an every day spiritual practice? Start here where I share the development of my spiritual practice. And if you’re new to The Mystical One, you can start at the beginning here.